1. |
Homecoming
04:04
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Homecoming
I got friends getting married and buying a house
Ask me how we got here I cannot tell how
But I hope to wake up tomorrow on Thomas's porch
Hung over and stale but I make my way to church
To see my mother and father and even my sister
I can't say it now but she knows that I missed her
When I see you all at homecoming I won’t know what to think
We’re all rearranging deck chairs on a boat about to sink
All the cool kids from school are all drunk in the gutter
I have a bed and job but am I really much better
I take five pills a day to keep my demons all at bay
And I write it all down to pretend I am sane
I’m getting used to funerals and seeing friends in pain
But my suit is getting worn, so I guess I can’t complain
When I see you all on homecoming night, we’re prisoners decked out in christmas lights
To distract us from the chains that brought us all back here tonight
I don’t think it’s our fault that we all get home and drink
And I don’t think it’s on us that we try to swim but always sink
That we’re too deep in debt to keep the needle from our arm
To consider the legalities of smoking in park
But here we are back home left to carry all the weight
cause you’re never really far from the good old garden state
When I see you all at homecoming, I’ll smile at the ways that we have aged,
And i didn’t miss you then and I never will but that’s okay
Because it’s homecoming and nothing much has changed
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2. |
Wolves
03:22
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Wolves
That old moon of ours
Begins to fade in the morning hours
Drinking moonshine laying on my dormroom floor
And I never felt so good
Feeling worse than I ever could
The moment that I fell in love with you
Ah oo
I’m just a wolf at best,
I stole the robin from her nest
I tore you from your life and left you there
It just seemed to me that
the other grass was green
That the meat would taste much sweeter than did yours
But now I howl at the moon
Cause I lost track of you
In the blood and bones and gristle of my greed
Ah oo
Now I lay beneath the pines
And I think about the time
We drank coffee and you told me about your brother and his wife
But I’m a wolf in skinny jeans
And my fangs carry disease
And it’d do you well to stay away from me
It would do you well to stay away from me
Ah oo
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3. |
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I Love You, I'm Sorry, Forgive Me, Goodbye
“I hated you for so long
I could feel your heartbeat buzzing in my arms
I wanted to feel it stop
I gave it everything I got
And I forgot you, like I wanted to”
You were right, I knew all my life, I just never got to tell you
“You were never mine, I’ll never find whether you knew or just forgot to tell the truth”
But it’s important that you know now
Well I’ve missed you
Off and on
But it’s been so long
that I’m afraid I cannot change
It’s out of range
Just like your face
It starts to blend and bleed and blur the longer that i age
I’ve got some things to say
I think about them every day
I love you I’m sorry Forgive Me Goodbye
"When I imagine you, you're droolong teeth with my fist in your eye and your blood on my feet"
I love you I’m sorry Forgive Me Goodbye
"When I imagine you, you're droolong teeth with my fist in your eye and your blood on my feet"
It’s important that you know I feel it too
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4. |
Ten Years
05:44
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Ten Years
In her message she asks
"Hey Brian, how have you been? I was hoping you'd like to catch up again"
But what does that mean?
Are you kidding me?
That doesn't mean I hate her,
But where do I begin?
In high school we were never really friends,
That doesn't mean I don't want to talk,
But how do you fill ten years in?
My friends ask, "what about her?"
I say “each time i fall in love is a time i get hurt”
Every set of hips that flair my way,
I fall in love every day,
And I guess I'm a sucker because it always plays out that way
i have friends having kids
maybe i'm better off dead
i imagine pushing my hands through the sides of my head
cracks in my skull feel achey and dull
cause i eat till i'm sick but i still don't feel full
and I see it in the clouds
in the tarot cards you laid down
that I won't ever hear the sound
of my newborn son, or the races he won
or the trophies we put on the shelf when he's done
or creaks of our home settling slow like our bones
no, i'm just coming home
to an open sea
to a diploma I can't read
a house party
with old friends I can't see
to steven's OD
to a PhD
to a scattered family
to ten years that left without me
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5. |
Dead Again
04:20
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Dead Again
my father said "life is a beast,
it claws and retreats
to the dark corners and it waits for you,"
I dream up heart attacks,
a crash a river, or path,
cause life's hiding in the corners of the room,
and life is a beast
because it gnaws and it eats
at the fragments of all that you love
and i thought maybe that i'd be enough
to fill it's jaws, but turns out you too
got gobbled up into its maw
and life is a wind, it's can be gentle and thin, but more often it knocks down your house,
and the flood waters come like the father read once, and those people need your help now
because life is a wind you can't feel it begin, but it'd cold and confusing and sharp
it blew out the candles to dark, and i can't hear a word or see past the dirt, i'm either six feet above or under foot
life's just what comes before death
before your last breath
before the things that i said
Before we were both dead
Again
Now we’re dead again
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6. |
Surprise Party
04:34
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Surprise Party
Welcome home
I was glad to see you go
Why you came back I’ll never know
Was it the money?
Was it the drugs?
Was it your parents? Had you had enough?
Welcome home,
Can you hear your bones
Grind against each other like river stones
Was it black?
Was it blue?
Why can’t we get out of here, why’s it always you?
I see old pictures
Around my place
Of my mom and dad with smiles on their face
Where’d they go
Do you even know
Why you came home, because, now you’re all alone
Fill your balloon
whatever poison that you choose
Let’s get this party rolling boy, yeah let’s turn blue
Surprise
This is your life
And you can watch it out your window rolling by
It’s your surprise
So treat it right
Welcome home, take off your coat and stay for life
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Two Hearted River New Jersey
Sometimes, I make music. Most of the time, I teach. This started as a model project for my 2016 senior class.
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